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From: Another First Wife
Date: 16 Dec 2004
Time: 20:32:26 -0700
Remote Name: 62.231.219.93
As-salaamu aleikum. First, I would like to thank the Sister for sharing her story with us. I think that she gave some excellent advice for coping with difficulties in our lives, whether in polygyny or other areas. Next, I would like to ask, if a Sister has a happy and satisfying marriage before her husband marries additional wife/wives, why can she not continue to have a happy and satisfying marriage thereafter?? She may not see her husband as much as before, but why can't the time they are together be as great as before? Would it not be more beneficial to focus less on the fact that he has another wife and focus more on the fact that she herself IS still his wife and make that relationship as strong and supportive for herself as it can be? There are Sisters who do not spend every night with their husbands because of his working out of town or being in the military or whatever. Just because the man is not in the home every day should not be an excuse for having a weak marriage. Do we women not have the ability to tremendously love each of our children, no matter how many we have? Why should we doubt that our husbands have the ability to love each of their wives? Again, I am very glad that this Sister has shared the reality of her journey with us. I think that many women go through this when their husband's choose to marry again. I wish that I could read on about how this Sister overcame this struggle to find blessings and happiness again with her husband. I don't believe that polygyny was ordained to take a husband from one woman and give him to another, rather it was ordained so that more women would be able to experience the joys that marriage can offer. No marriage, whether monogamous or polygynous, is without its tough times. Polygyny shouldn't be an excuse for an unhappy marriage. Signed, Another First Wife